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my half-assed website

I think that I have finally figured out what to do with this site: make it a shoddy knock-off of this blog.

Shizzolator
Finally, a translator page that allows me to see how my blog would read if I were a semi-literate street-thug!

WARNING! Linlk to objectionable material...
but I just loved these animated things so much I want the link up. However displaying them on the page is a bit risque.

Bush's Freudian Slip
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," he said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

First honest thing that bastard has said in a while.


The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Jury Doody!
Jury duty is awful. I had it once when I was 18 or so and it was great. I went to a big room, read all day and got paid . Tuesday's experience was much worse.

First off, the county lied and told me that free parking was available in a nearby garage. They neglected to mention that motorcycles are not welcome... So I circled around the one-way streets of Elizabeth looking for a safe, legal place to park. This took 45 minutes. Finally I found a low-profile spot in a nearby county employee parking lot.

Passing through the metal detector was surpisingly not a hassle. I guess the rivets on my gloves are aluminum or copper. Anyway, I had to leave my helmet and GPS with them, but that was fine. So I find where I'm supposed to be, and as I'm about to sit down (30 minutes late), we're lead up 4 stories of stairs. We get the welcome speech, and basically get to goof off for a while. I was happy reading The Onion and running up the IM bill on my cell phone.

Then we had to go to court, which involved walking down the four stories of stairs, through a parking lot and up a nother four flights of stairs. Did I mention I had to carry my motorcycle jacket and tail-pack. Then we had to sit in court and could not play with cell phones or read. This sucked. Instead of Rusty the Bailiff, the court officer looked like Britney Spears in a cop uniform, which was interesting.

The actual jury selection was incredibly dull. Dullest two hours of my life. Anyhow, they kept booting potential jurors, and eventually they called me. I admitted that I could not give equal credibilty and weight to the testimony of law-enforcement as to other testimony since I knew that cops read from a script designed to hit the required points. I was quickly dismissed.

By the time I got downstairs, the whole juror pool (minus those selected) was behind me, so apparently they picked the next guy. We got to leave then, right around noon. My bike was not ticketed, stolen or vandalized, so I was happy.

The Arabian Candidate
This article by Paul Krugman for The New York Times totally nails how Bush is the terror President (not the anti-terror President). Click above to read the short piece: essentially if Bush wanted to weaken the US and strengthen Islamic terrorism, he would do exactly what he has done.

That white mom on Trading Spouses is a biatch!
Tammy Nagasaki seems to be a less pleasant Carmela Soprano who married some Japanese surgeon and lives a decadent life of nothingless in Cali **My brother has informed me that both families were in fact in Dallas/FortWorth, Texas area - Bobos are everywhere**. Her first morning living with nice modest black family, she whined about having to drink decaf. Bitch, tough it out. Drink Mountain Dew to get yer caffeine. Then she was totally floored by the concept that these people couldn't afford to eat out every meal and screeched an hour ahead of lunch that making a sandwich was work she didn't feel like doing.

The black mother is quite happy being catered to in the posh households (yes, he has a huge lake house too) of the wealthy.

UPDATE: This week actually ended well. Each family gaets paid K for the bizarre social experiment, but the surprise twist is that the visiting mom gets to decide how the other family's money gets spent. I was sure the bobo mom would earmark everything for college, but she laudably put about half towards paying off debt and a bunch towards buying a bigger home.

Better yet, the black mom gave all the money to the Japanese granny to buy a new car and visit Japan. Poor nana lived like a servant while worthless Tammy did nothing. And the Amerasian kids were spoiled enough already

Talk like a pirate day
is September 19th. Mark your calendars, mates.

Vocab time!
Got two new words here:

Mobile speed bump: some dope driving too slow and blocking you from a natural, albeit extralegal, speed.

Velocitize: to become accustomed to faster speeds

Usage: This mobile speed bump doing 70 in the left lane really needs to velocitize herself or move over.


PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FIRE

(07-13) 9:31 CDT MIDLAND, TEXAS(AP) A tragic fire on Sunday destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush.

Both of his books have been lost.

A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had not finished coloring the second one.

Lord Almighty! That horrid Senator of ours is doing something right!
Support Lautenburg's bill to give bonuses to our hijacked soldiers.

The freeway blogger
has certainly given me some ideas!

Finally, something to watch this summer
besides Method and Red. It's Big Brother 5 , a show that only my brother and I watch. If you watch this show also, please email me.

UPDATE: The male nurse is gay and there are two people in the house unaware that they are half-siblings. Coincidentally they are two homeliest houseguests, like to wear hats, and figured out their relationship almost immediately.

Favorite houseguest: ditzy Paris Hilton knockoff Holly

Least favorite houseguest: Bush supporter Michael

Friday, July 2, 2004
Well, I got my car back yesterday from the dealer after a bunch of warranty work. Sunroof deflector and rear hatch trim piece replaced with new parts, and the CD changer fixed. I cleaned the windows last night and checked tire pressure and re-adjusted the mirrors this morning before leaving early for work.

So of course everything was going smoothly, which meant it was time for a crash. And sure enough, I come a round a bend on 22 and all the cars in front of me are stopped. I slow down and expect them to start rolling soon. Then the spaz in front of me stops short, and I plow into him, because this car has sorry brakes. I'm fine and I get out and see that his rear wheels are like a foot in the air and his muffler is in my radiator...

Anyway, my insurance is gonna go up even more, and this cursed car now has even bigger problems. I'm stuck riding the bike which would be cool except for the leaky rear tire. Look how well I've scrubbed it in:

I'll be replacing that soon. Also here's a pic of the new handlebars, complete with heated grips and my RAM-Mount for the GPS.

UPDATE: This day actually got even worse! After work I had agreed to help my mother do some lifting for her part-time job. I had to ride my motorbike (hehe, that's what brits call them) there due to the earlier wrackage. So, I just did what I always do when I'm running into a store for a short time: hang the helmet off the handlebar and throw the gloves inside, then pile the jacket and riding pants on top of the tail-pack. I've done this for years, and occasionally the jacket will fall off. Well, it took way longer to do this work than I'd expected, and when I walked out three hours longer, I could see something wrong from across the parking lot.

No helmet, no riding gear. Luckily the dumb-ass thieves were lazy grab'n'dashers or they could've nabbed my GPS and gotten my address to go along with those apartment keys. The cops tell me to come to the station to file a report. Luckily mom's car was there, so she drove me over. I also luckily still have my old (damaged) helmet. So I was able to get around.

Next day I went and bought the exact same helmet that I'd bought half a year ago, and ended up getting these great Held gloves.

I'm stuck with my old Schott Bros. leather jacket till I get some new summer mesh gear. I'm thinking of getting the same Firstgear HT Air overpants and their Mesh-Tex jacket in blue.

Che was a motorcyclist

Thursday, June 24, 2004
OK, so I got my GPS back from repairs, and boy do I love Thales Navigation, aka Magellan. They fixed it for free (again) even though it's totally out of warranty, and upgraded it to the latest firmware version and sent a car window mount. That baby is worth about , I think.

Also ordered some Suburban Machinery Type 2 handlebars for my bike. The stock bars are a bit bent from when somebody dropped the bike on their DMV test. Anyway, thay started hurting my arm a bit, and I figured that I have to take all the handlebar-mounted items off to even try to straighten the original, plus I've been riding a little crouched over with bent elbows anyway, I might as well upgrade. I think I'll keep the heated grips on, as I'm used to their larger diameter. Doing the install Saturday, should also balance the carbs.

Lastly, Ford is good on their warranty. They sent out my stuck CD changer and ordered up a replacement sunroof deflector and rear hatch trim piece with minimal whining on my part. So now I'm driving around with a hole in the dash where the radio was, but that lets me listen to the engine, which actually sound good.

What's the deal with Rumsfailed's hands?


Hell, I fall off my bicycle!

Bush not stupid or evil, merely lacking vitamin B1!
Yup, the fact that fomer cheerleader Bush manages to fall off Seqways, bicycles and couches, along with his delusions has myself and others convnced that his decades of alcoholism has taken it's toll in the form of Korsakoff syndrome, a defiency of vitamin B1.

A better alternative to that stupid OnStar nonsense.

"Your government trained and funded Al-Queda!"
These 9/11 widows rock!

Big Brother on it's way
The auto insurance companie are ready to use those secret data recorders found in many cars. They'll offer a price break to anyone who agrees to let them have the information, since apparently they can't get it w/o consent. In reality, those who do not wish to be monitored will be forced to pay more. Do not buy a car with one of these things. The NMA (links below and at left) lists the cars that have the recorders.

June is Lane Courtesy Month!
Keep right, pass left. Use your blinkers and merge smoothly into adjacent lanes. Why can't people figure this out?

My new celly
celly, mobile, handy. Call it what you will, I got a newer model used phone off of eBay. This Nokia 3390 is cool. It's a small, but reasonable, size and I got the snobby burlwood-look faceplates. The thing vibrates, and lets you compose your own ringtones. I found a great site that gives you the data for the ringtones for free. I punched in themes from James Bond, The Addams Family, the Munsters, Itchy & Scratchy, and Inspector Gadget. Cool.

Bikeless!
I have been without my beloved motorcyle for 6 solid days now. Last Saturday I changed all the brake pads. Well, almost all. The retaining pins in the rear were frozen in place. I took the whole caliper apart and brought the thing to work where people tried putting the pins in a vise and twisting, and some trick with a lathe that I didn't understand, which got one of them out. The other was just cut and drilled through. So now I get to put this all back together tomorrow. Hope to be riding within 24 hours.

The Joan of Arcadia introduction
The intro to thsi show is kinda wierd. Lest you not know, Joan of Arcadia is a CBS show about a teenage girl whom God speaks to (in the form of various passresby). The network has to be non-denominational about the whole God issue, as can be seen by the intro. I taped it and played it back frame by frame. The theme music is "What If God Was One of Us" by Joan Osborne.

The images are:

1. A Zodiac dial or something spinning in the sky over the great Pyramids.

2. Vitruvian Man by DaVinci.

3. Detail from The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo.

4. Lithograph of Shakespeare (?).

5. Short clip from a silent movie of man, possibly Buster Keaton, comically hanging from large clock hands.

6. Moonwalk footage.

7. Early photograph of Eleanor Roosevelt, I think. Einstein's theory of relativity (E=mc˛) superimposed.

8. Three Stooges dancing side by side. 9. Another unsure face. I think it's an early Bob Dylan. 10. Footage of Berlin Wall being torn down. Sheet music runs across bottom of screen.

11. The Dalai Llama.

12. Nelson Mandela.

13. The word 'IMAGINE', and then the cast members start appearing on screen.

OK, the first three have mystical/spiritual/religious meaning. I guess the scientific displays are meant to imply the Hand of God in human advancement or something, and are not entirely out of place. It's a stretch, but I guess your Eleanor Roosevelts, Bob Dylans and Mandelas could be representing divinely inspired revolutionaries. But where do the Stooges fit in?

Sign up to be on your local draft board
Yep, if things turn out right, well, Bush will be out of office soon. But if he gets re-selected, a military draft is in the near future. I signed up to be the one that makes sure no more chickenhawks like Limbaugh, Cheney, Rove, Ashcroft etc. get to wimp out and get deferments.


Werd, the Icy Hot Stuntaz are still kickin'!!! And they supposedly have a single that y'all can hear. But don't take my word for it: I don't have speakers. I'm buying this first anyway.


New Liberal Talk Radio Network Airs
And sadly, I'm listening. I don't consider myself a liberal: I oppose abortion, sodomite marriage, welfare, and most government spending. But Resident George W. Bush, and the current crop of neo-conservatives, are so vile and despicable that I want nothing to do with them. Of course their media control has made the once fun and rebellious talk-radio genre into stale repetition of RNC talking points. WABC in NY is a prime example of this. Little more than a year ago they had personalities like Lynn Samuels, Richard Bey, and Ron Kubi, as well as Art Bell on overnights. Now they maintain only Kubi, and have reluctantly brought back Bell on weekends.

Anyway, their other personalities suck. I can't even tell you their names because I honestly can't endure long enough to hear a station ID. I can only take so much Bush idolatry and the lame sophistry and spin that goes with it.

see schedule or listen live at airamericaradio.com/

Quizilla gets it right, again!
How do they know so much about me? CWINDOWSDesktopFightclub.jpg
Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Does new funny money incinerate when microwaved?
Supposedly these new bills are suspect of having RFID (radio frequency identification) tags in them, and they will pop or singe when microwaved. I have to try this. Anyway, for those with fear of embedded information, also microwave yor driver's license and credit cards and stuff. I'm also going to try an AOL CD. Supposedly a second or two on High will blur up the surface and obliterate the info. Ha!

Al Queda backs Bush!


"No massive attacks will be launched against the U.S. until the next presidential elections which we hope will be won by (President George) Bush," said the statement signed by Abu Fahs al-Masri Brigades. "Our (Islamic) nation needs the idiocy and religious fanaticism of an enemy like that (Bush) to wake up," said the statement, dated March 15.

"Kerry will kill our nation while it sleeps because he and the Democrats have the cunning to embellish blasphemy and present it to the Arab and Muslim nation as civilization."

Visit PropagandaMatrix.com, from who I stole this great image:

I also added their banner way down at the bottom.

My Tip is on SV Rider!
Look at me, getting all giddy because something of mine is on the web. It's not like I got paid or anything.

A piece of legislation that I actually support!
Right to repair is a bill that would prevent automakers from keeping secrets and limiting part availability in order to make you use the dealership. I had a BMW and they are lousy with this. I had to buy a aftermarket tool to reset the oil service light that stayed on after doing an oil change. And the CD-changer could not be fixed by anyone (including BMW) because parts and info were unavailable. It had to be removed at the dealership, sent out to Pioneer for repair, then reinstalled. Click above to bug your congressmen and support the bill.


Kelly Bishop is the best!
Yes, another Gilmore Girls rant. Since Buffy is no more, there are very few good shows on. I've been meaning to do a write-up on the wierd intro to Joan of Arcadia (tape it and watch it in slo-mo; the images are an odd choice given the show's focus) but for now, I'll pass on that the actress we all love for portraying Emily Gilmore also played Howie's mom Rae Stern in Private Parts.

Results of another stupid on-line peronality test
I really don't know where they got this idea: Aryan Bear
Aryan Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Free XM at home?
According to squidward: "Just discovered that you can listen to just about all the XM Radio channels. Just place the following url into your IE http://www.xmradio.com/metafiles/71.asx 71 is the channel number, it happens to be the Cool Jazz Channel, but you can simply use the other channels in it's place. You may wish to see all the channles available at the web site http://www.xmradio.com"

Obliscence, Theories of Forgetting and the Problem of Matter
This is friggin fascinating. Theory goes that all memory is an illusion, a construct to hide the fact that we don't know how we got here. Someone please read this so I can discuss it. Seriously, e-mail me at contact moi.



Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

Invade the privacy of authorities instead of the other way around
Yup, thanks to listening to the great guys at Off the Hook I learned about this great site, Eyeballing Karl Rove, John Ashcroft, George Tenet, etc which gives home addresses, Mapquest and aerial photos for the head muckety-mucks. Also, learn How to never lose Pepsi's iTunes giveaway.

Invade the privacy of authorities instead of the other way around
Yup, thanks to listening to the great guys at Off the Hook I learned about this great site, Eyeballing Karl Rove, John Ashcroft, George Tenet, etc which gives home addresses, Mapquest and aerial photos for the head muckety-mucks. Also, learn How to never lose Pepsi's iTunes giveaway.

Mrs. C plays Trix
yep, I've been watching Gilmore Girls forever, and the great-grandmother role has been recurring for some time. Only yesterday when I was watching the taped intro did I catch the "Special Guest: Marion Ross" credit. I last recall seeing that name under the image of Richie Cunningham's mom in a jukebox during the Happy Days intro. Sho'nuff, same actress.

Bush Junior's Texas Air National Guard photo

another image by Beemer Dan of the UTMC

Finally had Progressive springs installed
Yup, everybody says that the Suzuki SV650 comes with too soft of a front suspension. I still had the original fork oil in at 24K+ miles (oops, change every 7500? oops!) and figured that I might as well toss in some quality springs while everything was apart. I had Bay Cycle in Bayonne do it, and they did a great, quick job for like half the price I was expecting. The bike now rides wuch flatter and firmer. I never realized how much the thing was diving before. Oddly, I'd figured out how to use the compressed suspension to my advantage for ripping through tight corners, and now I have to learn to do it right. Did I mention how lucky I am that the fork seals have not started leaking yet?

These images stolen from the Underground Terrorist Motorcycle Club


I'm starting over on this site. What's this new movie Eurotrip? It seems that after playing Penny to Matthew Broderick's Inspector Gadget, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer's little sister, Michelle Trachtenberg has been deemed old enough to be a movie sex object. At least that's my understanding from the commercial.

 
free web counters people have looked at this crap.
contact moi